When sending your first message to someone on a dating site, it can be difficult to know what will entice the women you want to meet and what will send them running to the hills. What may seem like an ordinary message to you may set off alarm bells in your girl’s head, which makes your chances for a date or a one-nighter much slimmer than they need to be. Knowing exactly what will draw women in and what will drive them away is a great way to be on your way to a successful online dating career.
Don’t Be Too Creepy
Another thing to avoid is mentioning that you want to meet up in the first message. Even if you are looking for a one-nighter, you need to gain trust of the woman you’re interested in. Think about it like going to a bar to try and pick someone up for a one-night stand. You wouldn’t walk up to a woman and immediately mention taking her home for the night and expect her to actually agree there, so the same rules apply to online dating websites. You need to spend some time getting to know each other so that she can decide you’re someone she wants to meet with.
Be cool, be casual – you don’t need to over think your message, but you do need to treat her like a human being, and not just one of many possible women you may be messaging at the same time. Browse her profile a bit to see what you may have in common with her. Do you like the same bands? Does she watch the same TV show you do? Whatever you may have in common, make sure to mention it in your messages to her to show her that you’re not just some random guy who only wants one thing (even if that’s true!). Try not to pretend to be interested in something she likes if you have no idea what it is, since it could wind up ruining the mood if she realizes you have no clue what she’s talking about.
Keep in mind that most of the messages she’ll be getting are pretty much all the same. By adding some icebreakers into your message you can show her that you paid attention to what she wrote, which is more than can be said for the dozens of “hey baby” messages she’s likely to get on a regular basis.